Tuesday, December 16, 2014

2014: most bewildering moment


2014: The Best & Worst This is the time of the year when writers coast. They dream up their totally subjective best and worse lists for the year that's rapidly coming to a close. Why? So they can focus on the important things...the holidays. So with that in mind:

This may shock your sensibilities, but there was a time when if you wanted to listen to music, you got up off the sofa and stepped over to your stereo and turned it on. Took 20 seconds. Or if you wanted to watch television, you walked to your TV, pushed a button and it came on. If the channel was not to your liking, you turned a knob—click, click, click—to a more favorable program.  Maybe 35 seconds.

Those were the days. Label me a Luddite.

Today, I spend far more time jusy searching for the remote. My most bewildering moment of 2014 started simple enough. I had lost the TV remote yet again so I began to rummage around looking for it, under the sofa pillows, on the coffee table, in the Lazy Boy. Then I dug around the entertainment center, home of the TV, stereo, turntable, DVD player and, yes, a still working VCR. 

I was shaken. It seems remotes have a built-in piece of software that makes them want to hide and apparently reproduce. 

By the time I had completed my great remote roundup and spread them out before me, I had found nine. But even more intimidating were the 300-plus buttons that if pushed, something was supposed to happen. But what? Yes, over 300 buttons, staring at me begging for a decision.

But, all I wanted to do was watch a football game. Do I really need over 300 buttons just to be entertained? 

I checked with NASA. The now retired space shuttle had less than 100 buttons on its control panel and it flew to space and back, even docked with the International Space Station. 

But of course, that's 1980s technology, and things were so archaic then. And my TV only picked up four channels.

Good night Mrs. Calabash, wherever you are. 

Somehow, I'll bet you are looking for your remote.    

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