bear jam?

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Cades Cove in the Smokies

Growing up in the Great Smoky Mountains, I'm somewhat accustomed to bear jams—traffic moving as slowly as preserved fruit because someone up ahead has seen a black bear ambling near the road. 

Last month my Mom and I were driving the one-way scenic loop around Cades Cove when the traffic came to a stop, we then proceeded inches at a time for the next hour. Inches. Bicyclists passed us on the right; a park ranger passed us on foot on the left. Still the traffic snail-paced along. 

Ultimately, we reached the front of the line, and discovered what was causing the slow down: not a bear ambling by the road but three bears up an oak eating green acorns. 

The ranger would not allow me to stop but I did manage to shoot one frame over my left shoulder.

It did occur to me that this was not a typical bear jam, it was much slower, thus prompting me to come up with a new set of nomenclature to describe the "sluggishness" of the traffic as it slows to look at a Smoky Mountain black bear.

     No bear.....................35+ mph

     Bear Beer..................35 mph

     Bear Dark Ale.............25 mph

     Bear Custard..............15 mph

     Bear Jelly....................5 mph

     Bear Jam....................3 mph

     Bear Cheesecake......300 feet per hour

     Bear Pâté................100 feet per hour

     Bear Fruitcake...........50 feet per hour

     Bear Aged Cheddar......Dead Stop

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